fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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