Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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