I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
