I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
