Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
