this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
