If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
