It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
