i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
