Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
