you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
