We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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