If that was your dad, he is hot
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
