KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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