How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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