every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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