so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
