So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He's on the porch naked. Help.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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