Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
