ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize