I wish I could punch you in the face.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
