That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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