omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have so much sex to catch up on
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
