Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
