Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
