U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize