I need help removing her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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