i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
