just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
