Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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