Tell her she can't have a vagina
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
