My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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