sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
