well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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