Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
