I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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