he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
