He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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