So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
