I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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