I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
