Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do vagina's smell?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.