I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
