I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk