he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.