The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
