i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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