I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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