So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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