would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
