he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize