After last night, I could never be a politician.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
