My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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