I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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