You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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