Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
