one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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