omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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