Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
