i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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