So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
