Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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