I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
