We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
