I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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