Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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