from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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