Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
