She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
