I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
